my blog now

hsuen.tumblr.com

some stuff to say to you

If I were to say things were great absolute wonderful
you would believe me

Lies are inevitable
it's to make yourself and others feel better
white lies, black lies, small lies, big lies, dark lies, bright lies
Lies
what if lies were lies themselves..
the world is all a lie, you believe what you believe
you see what you want to see
you hear what you want to hear
you don't tolerate others because you are all that matters

what about those who are selfless?
you always hear about those who die die early
they are what we call angels, only appearing for a short time
so for those living for over 100 years, what are they
they must not be angels then, since angels only come for a short time
angels are blessings so are we not?

so you realize too late
and want to change but it's too late to go back
and to when do you go back?
to when you made that one mistake or the other or the other or....
maybe back to a fetus maybe back to only 1 day old
but even then it might be too late
so you live for this long and to find that you're not an angel
so what are you?
an invisible man, i think
like what thoreau said.
something about being an eyeball and what not
you say wait, i'm not invisible, this is nothing
it will get better
but time passes and you still wait, you wait
the more you wait the more you realize the mistakes you make
the more you notice the bad in life
and when you finally realize you are invisible, like I said, it's too late
but you will always have that small hope in you
hoping that someone will be your angel
your hero
your superman
or simply just your's
because you know what?
the world is just cruel period

H&M

I need to shop

just stuff

I hate it when I'm asked of what I want because you know very well what I want
I'm only saying what you want to hear and what I should be saying
You know so well where I want to be and what I would choose
but you you still ask
giving me a slap on the face
I hate it when you ask...

jerks, all guys are jerks

poor "mommy", something happened out of the blues
totally random yet so funny
^O^

I realized how easy it is to say one thing but to do another
I felt that I was sure
like OK I will do this, I can wait
and then I am faced to write down the name, check the decline/withdrawal box
and then I'm not so sure anymore

I hope with the slightest chance that I will somehow win the lottery within a week and a half
I procrastinate hoping that maybe I will get a miracle, I just don't want to regret checking the box and then finding out something else
Progress though, I wrote down UCR and checked the withdrawal box for BC...
it doesn't feel great though, even if I wasn't really going to go
It feels like I am just one step farther from my dream, one step farther and farther
and soon I won't even be there anymore
wait 7 more days, all will be over right?
reality hits, dreams crushed, miracles....not happening, right?

senior-------------itis

Grrrrrrrr..... >.<
I don't want to do homework anymore
I don't want to take AP tests anymore
I don't want to go to school anymore
I want to graduate and go on vacation, NOW!!


yah! STAR testing next week which means I get to sleep in!! oh and Happy early Birthday Steph!! (if you read this) wow!! old grandma now huh? 18!! go buy yourself a pack of cigs and a lottery ticket! jkjk love ya lots<3